Make mine a double

Camper English

It's an age-old Saturday night dilemma: get dressed up and go clubbing, or surrender to lethargy and go to bed? Finally, there's a sensible compromise. Across the country, beds are popping up in bars, and drinkers can stretch out in an ostentatious display of Hellenistic hedonism rather than balancing on the ho-hum perch of a barstool. Indeed, many clubs look like dormitories now, but San Francisco's most coveted crib sits in loney splendor at Suite One8One, a jam-packed Tenderloin nightclub. While most VIP nests offer privacy, here the point is pageantry. Rowdy party girls dance on the bed's perimeter, teasing the guys with low-cut tops, their private stash of top-shelf vodka, and abundant room in which to play. In clubs everywhere now, personal space is the mark of privilege: Outside the VIP area, sadly, you have to fight for a seat, wait for a drink, and leave if you want to get someone into bed.

VIP bed at Suite One8One
1:07 a.m.

THE LOOK: Designer dullwear—untucked button-downs on guys, napkin-size tops on the girls. Not a pajama in sight.
THE POUR: In bed, there's bottle service only, and Belvedere goes for $275 per. Hey, as long as you're not a Red Bull fan, the mixers are free.
R.S.V.P.: Party crashers take note: you get in bed by reservation only.
THE SOUNDTRACK: Rotating DJs spin gangsta-free hip-hop and dance versions of old and new pop songs (Britney, is that you?).
'TUDE TEST: The VIP section is cordoned off with perhaps the longest velvet rope in the Bay Area. It stretches nearly the length of one room.
EAVESDROPPING: "Excuse me, you aren't allowed to sit here."

181 Eddy St., S.F., 415-345-9900.

Elsewhere
Four times a year, Fluid Ultra Lounge hosts Bedroom with 11 VIP beds, DJ Donovan, and a young Euro-glam crowd. 662 Mission St., S.F., 415-615-6888.

An in-style crowd books weeks ahead for the balcony-level bed at Dolce. 440 Broadway, S.F., 415-989-3434.

Some 150 trendoids and foodies get in bed together for dinner and carnival acts at Supperclub. 657 Harrison St., S.F., 415-348-0900.