The greatest losers of all

Dan Fost

The shadow over this lineup of San Francisco Giants symbolizes the team’s heartbreaking failure to ever win the World Series, analyzed in “Lords of No Rings” (page 132). But according to the illustrator, Giants fan Mark Ulriksen, 51, the cloud shouldn’t overshadow the truth: This dream lineup would stack up against any other team’s best from the last half century.

Ulriksen, a longtime San Franciscan and New Yorker illustrator, picked his all-star Giants squad as if it were Opening Day or (perish the thought) a World Series game, and they were called to the field one at a time. Leading off, on the far right, is spectacular shortstop Omar Vizquel, number 13, the only current Giant in this lineup. Though Vizquel has only been on the team for three years, “who else was I going to pick,” asks Ulriksen, “José Uribe?” For a double-play partner, he initially thought of fan favorite Robby Thompson, second sacker on the 1989 World Series team. But San Francisco editor-in-chief Bruce Kelley put in a plug for someday Hall of Famer Jeff Kent, who batted so well in front of Barry Bonds, winning an MVP award. “I agree,” Ulriksen says, “even though Kent’s a jerk, and anybody who goes to the Dodgers destroys their legacy in San Francisco.”

The core of the lineup made for easier calls. The incomparable Willie Mays takes center field and bats third. Left-fielder Barry Bonds bats fourth, his favorite spot. The only question was how to draw Bonds—like the young, lean, hip-shaking Elvis, or the old, bloated Vegas Elvis? “I wanted to make Barry look like the circus freak I consider him to be,” the artist says.

Willie “Stretch” McCovey bats fifth, plays first base, and represents “that horrible ’70s look,” Ulriksen describes, with the orange-and-black band around his waist. Fellow Hall of Famer Orlando Cepeda, number 30, bats next. Although Cepeda was primarily a first baseman, Ulriksen put him in right field. (Who else would play the outfield—Candy Maldonado?) Another fan favorite from the 1989 team, four-time Gold Glover Matt Williams, plays third, chosen over 1989 MVP Kevin Mitchell or early Giant Jim Davenport. For catcher, Ulriksen considered Benito Santiago, who resurrected his career with three good years with the Giants; but the artist ultimately chose six-feet-four Tom Haller, a three-time all-star from the 1960s.

Pitching, and batting ninth, is the winningest Giant of all, Juan Marichal. But will the Dominican Dandy be able to keep his spot? Opening Day is around the corner. Matt Cain and Tim Lincecum look incredible. Hope springs eternal.

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