A fairly fair look at the city’s street fests

Karen Solomon

The 53rd Annual (Precious Cheese) North Beach Festival
DATES: June 16–17
TIME: 10 a.m.–6 p.m.
WHERE: Washington Square Park and along Grant
WEBSITE: www.northbeachfestival.com
NUMBER OF ATTENDEES: 85,000
RATIO OF PORT-O-POTTIES TO ATTENDEES: 1,977:1
TASTY TIDBIT: The sweet, sweet taste of nearly banned beer and wine.
TAKE HOME: Fair-trade crafts from Third World countries? What’s Italian about that?
DON'T MISS: The spiraling dough of World Champion Pizza Tosser Tony Gemignani.

The 31st Annual Union Street Festival
DATES: June 2–3
TIME: 10 a.m.–6 p.m.
WHERE: Union from Gough to Steiner
WEBSITE: www.unionstreetfestival.com
NUMBER OF ATTENDEES: 100,000
RATIO OF PORT-O-POTTIES TO ATTENDEES: 935:1
TASTY TIDBIT: Lattes. Nobody eats when there’s shopping to be done.
TAKE HOME: All kinds of art for your pied-à-terre.
DON'T MISS: Both kinds of music, classical and jazz.

The 23rd annual Fillmore Jazz Festival
DATES: June 30–July 1
TIME: 10 a.m.–6 p.m.
WHERE: Fillmore from Jackson to Eddy
WEBSITE: www.fillmorejazzfestival.com
NUMBER OF ATTENDEES: 90,000
RATIO OF PORT-O-POTTIES TO ATTENDEES: 1,475:1
TASTY TIDBIT: Pounds of New Orleans soul grub.
TAKE HOME: That hand­crafted tribal animal-skin drum you’ll never, ever play.
DON'T MISS: Every style of jazz ever made, including hip-hop, funk, eclectic, and the ever-feared “modern.”

The 37th Annual San Francisco LGBT Pride Celebration & Parade
DATES: June 23–24
TIME: Saturday, noon–6 p.m.; Sunday, 10:30 a.m.–7 p.m.
WHERE: Market and Civic Center
WEBSITE: www.sfpride.org
NUMBER OF ATTENDEES: 1 million, they claim
RATIO OF PORT-O-POTTIES TO ATTENDEES: 2,381:1
TASTY TIDBIT: Keg-size cosmos.
TAKE HOME: Wind socks, wind chimes, and bandannas in all the colors of the rainbow—at once.
DON'T MISS: The much-anticipated Norcal Waste Systems parade float!